50 Rules of Programming
50. Programming today is a race between software developers striving to build bigger, more idiot-proof programs and the universe trying to produce bigger, better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.
- Rick Cook
49. Lisp is not a language but a building material.
- Alan Kay
48. Walking on water and developing software to a specification are easy-if both are frozen.
- Edward V. Berard
47. They don't make bugs like Bunny anymore.
- Olav Mjelde
46. A language is low-level when it requires attention to things that have nothing to do with programs in that language.
- Alan J. Perlis
45. Programming in C is like fast dancing on a freshly polished floor with sharp razors in your hands.
- Waldi Ravens
44. I always dreamed that my computer would be as easy to use as my telephone. My dream came true: I can no longer figure out how to use my telephone.
- Bjarne Stroustrup
43. Studying programming cannot make you an expert any more than studying brushes and paints can make you an artist.
- Eric S. Raymond
42. Don't worry if something doesn't work. If everything worked, you would be out of a job.
- Mosher's Law of Software Engineering
41. I think Microsoft named the technology .Net so it would not show up in Unix directory listings.
- Oktal
40. Okay, Java MAY be a good example of what a language should look like. But then Java programs are a good example of how NOT to write programs.
- pixadel
39. Given the sorry state of our software, we can say that programming is definitely still black magic, and we cannot yet call it an engineering discipline.
- Bill Clinton
38. Using COBOL cripples the mind; teaching it should therefore be regarded as a criminal offence.
- E. W. Dijkstra
37. The object-oriented version of spaghetti code is, of course, lasagne code: far too many layers.
- Roberto Waltman
36. FORTRAN is not a flower but a weed: it is hardy, occasionally blooms, and grows in every computer.
- Alan J. Perlis
35. For a long time, I wondered how something so expensive and technologically advanced could be so useless. Then I realised that a computer is a stupid machine capable of doing incredibly intelligent things, while programmers are intelligent people with a talent for doing incredibly stupid things. In short, they found each other.
- Bill Bryson
34. In my egotistical opinion, most C programs should be indented two metres down and covered with earth.
- Blair P. Houghton
33. When someone says, “I want a programming language that can do anything I tell it to,” I give that person a lollipop.
- Alan J. Perlis
32. The evolution of languages: FORTRAN is not strongly typed. C is weakly typed. Ada is strongly typed. C++ is strongly bloated.
- Ron Sercely
31. In good design, the cost of adding something is less than the value of the thing itself.
- Thomas C. Gale
30. Calling Python a replacement for BASIC is like calling Optimus Prime just a replacement for a truck.
- Cory Dodt
29. Talk is cheap. Show me the code.
- Linus Torvalds
28. Perfection seems to be achieved not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (my all-time favourite quotation - boombick)
27. C is a quirky, flawed, and enormously successful language.
- Dennis M. Ritchie
26. In theory, theory and practice are inseparable. In practice, they are not.
- Yoggi Berra
25. You cannot create good software without a good team, but most software teams behave like dysfunctional families.
- Jim McCarthy
24. PHP is a minor evil created by incompetent amateurs, whereas Perl is a great and insidious evil created by skilled but perverted professionals.
- Jon Ribbens
23. Programming is like punching yourself in the face: sooner or later, your nose will bleed.
- Kyle Woodbury
22. Perl is a language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption.
- Keith Bostic
21. It is much easier to port a shell than a shell script.
- Larry Wall
20. I invented the term “object-oriented,” and I can tell you that I did not have C++ in mind.
- Alan Kay
19. Learning to program has as much to do with designing interactive systems as learning to touch-type has to do with writing poetry.
- Ted Nelson
18. The best programmers are not just a little better than the good ones. They are an order of magnitude better by every measure: conceptual thinking, speed, inventiveness, and problem-solving ability.
- Randall E. Stross
17. If McDonald's were a software company, one in every hundred Big Macs would be poisoned, and their response would be, “We're sorry; here's a coupon for two more Big Macs.”
- Mark Minasi
16. Beware of bugs in the code above: I have only proved it correct, not tried it.
- Donald E. Knuth
15. Systems analysis is like raising children: you can do a great deal of harm, but you cannot guarantee success.
- Tom DeMarco
14. I don't care if it works on your machine! We are not shipping your machine!
- Vidiu Platon
13. Sometimes it is better to stay in bed on Monday than to spend the rest of the week debugging Monday's code.
- Christopher Thompson
12. Measuring programming productivity by lines of code is like measuring progress in aircraft construction by weight.
- Bill Gates
11. Debugging code is twice as hard as writing it. So if you write code as cleverly as you can, you are, by definition, not clever enough to debug it.
- Brian W. Kernighan
10. People think programming is a science for a select few, but the reality is the opposite: many people create programs using other people's programs, like building a wall out of small bricks.
- Donald Knuth
9. First learn the science of programming and all the theory. Then develop your own programming style. Then forget everything and just program.
- George Carrette
8. Many of you know the virtues of a programmer. There are just three: laziness, impatience, and hubris.
- Larry Wall
7. Most software today is like an Egyptian pyramid, with a million bricks piled on top of one another and no structural integrity-built by brute force and thousands of slaves.
- Alan Kay
6. The trouble with programmers is that you cannot tell what they are doing until it is too late.
- Seymour Cray
5. To iterate is human; to recurse, divine.
- L. Peter Deutsch
4. On two occasions, members of Parliament asked me, “Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put wrong figures into the machine, will the right answers come out?” I cannot imagine the confusion of ideas that could lead to such a question.
- Charles Babbage
3. Most good programmers do their work not because they expect payment or recognition, but because they enjoy programming.
- Linus Torvalds
2. Always write code as if the person maintaining it will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.
- Martin Golding
1. There are two ways to design software: make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, or make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.
- C. A. R. Hoare
