My Game

As a child, I often played a game that I thought interested only me. It was a very simple yet incomprehensibly difficult thought experiment. The beauty of the game is that anyone can play it, regardless of their intellectual ability-even a five-year-old as stupid as I was.

It all began in early childhood, when I became fascinated by death and, naturally, all the entities and ideas associated with it. Since I was far from a brilliant child, divine providence was naturally the only concept of “everything” I could understand. Perhaps those simple ancient Hebrew myths were what first made me play “Everything Begins with Nothing.” Ever since, I have tested every “theory of everything” through this game. There is one rule: there are no boundaries. It is simple but very important. Let me explain using biblical stories: there is hell and heaven, angels and demons, God and the devil.

The two supreme, primary beings are God and the devil. The devil is straightforward: God created him. But God presents a problem: how he came into being is unknown. That was when, as a child, I first won this simple game. My reward was a complete mental block as my brain tried to comprehend primordial nothingness.

These thoughts drove the sinner out of me and made me a righteous agnostic, open to any possibility until facts clearly point to the only correct one. That happened much later, of course, but the seed of doubt was planted then. The game moved to the next level of difficulty, which only made it more interesting.

When I encountered the scientific community’s most popular theories, I was naturally overwhelmed by their complexity, scale, and incomprehensible grandeur. But every time the excitement of grasping a new theory faded, the five-year-old boy inside me would ask, “Well, shall we play?” And I always gladly agreed.

What impresses me most is that the game always ends the same way:

Complete bewilderment at the impossibility of comprehending primordial nothingness.